~The Spider and the Fly~ ; Making Friends/Being a Friend

[Katie]

As a Deaconess at the Bravia Cathedral, once in a while I will preach a service which I think is beneficial to all creatures who miss out on what our lovely cathedral has to offer. I am sharing these two services held recently....

PART I
You sit in a pew and listen. Katie approaches the pulpit and says:

Greetings, to All. Today's poem lesson~

The Spider and the Fly

“Will you walk into my parlour?” said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to show when you are there.”

“Oh no, no,” said the little Fly, “to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
-can ne'er come down again.”

****************

There are several morals to this poem.

Be careful with whom you associate for some are more crafty than others. But some are worth becoming friends with for they are good and honest and worthy of being called friend.

Do be careful and choose wisely, my friends.

May the love of the Mages and Spirits be with you always. Blessings to you and peace be with you, Amen.



PART II
You sit in a pew and listen. Katie approaches the pulpit and says:

Do you recall our recent lesson titled: The Spider and the Fly? Recall how the all-too-friendly Spider invited the Fly into it's web (aka parlor) and elaborated on how it had some interesting things for the Fly to view inside?

Of course the Spider spoke honey, sweet words and made mysterious intriguing promises of what would be found in the parlor. However, it's dark, naughty motives were being concealed from the Fly.

So Let's discuss choosing friends and how should we choose them?

I have always heard pick friends wisely by noticing how they behave during their troubling times. If you observe closely, the truth about their characters should match their reputations during their hard times as well as their good times in life. In other words, their walk (what they do) should not be in conflict with their talk (what they are saying). Having said that, If a creature spends his or her time whispering in the tavern negative comments about someone there without ever having a fair and open sit down with that other creature, you may be better off striking him or her from your list of possible good friends. Why? Perhaps he or she may be whispering bad things about you too behind your back. Ever thought of that possibility?

Let's do make a note of how a creature behaves during his or her bad times... Can we live with that creature as a friend when he or she is showing his or her worse side? Now this stage is where we really see the character of that creature... Is he or she the type who lashes out in a naughty manner or is he or she crafty with little sneaky jabs or little sneaky lies, etc? Be careful... Both of these forms of behavior are unacceptable and consider both to be dangerous.

Tis better to choose a friend who~ during their difficult times are either open and up front with you or they simply bow out and do not try to exacerbate the trouble at hand.

Here are some things to look for in a friend~
1) Choose friends who share the same interests and goals
2) Choose friends who will encourage you when you are down, not beat you down more. Many so called friends thrive on ganging up and beating you down more. Get rid of them if they continue tearing you down after you have told them their job is not to criticize you when you are feeling so low. Nevertheless, do not choose a friend who always tickles your ear with feel-good compliments. Balance is a key important aspect in finding a good and worthy friend.
3) Choose friends who you believe will help make you a better creature and you may help them become better creatures too.
4) Choose friends who are not jealous of you and instead will be delighted with your successes. (Remember jealousy can seem cute and a sign of love at first, but there is a fine line between jealousy and hate.)

Most importantly~

5) Give what you expect to get. GIVE WHAT YOU EXPECT TO GET. Every friendship is a give and take. If you expect great friends you first have to be one yourself. If you live by the Golden Rule of treating others as you would want to be treated, then you won't be disappointed -- you will find your friendships fulfilling and rewarding.

Take some time to evaluate your self and your relationships.

The Fly in our lesson must have observed what happened to other flies as they entered the Spider's parlor (web). Be observant and honest when evaluating potential future friends. Their weaknesses tells you much about whether you can accept them into your world as well as your weaknesses tell them the very same.

I have made some wonderful friends in these kingdoms and I look forward to making more friends.

Thank you to all the wonderful creatures who are very special and are not out to harm nor hinder, but are here to build-up and make our community a better place. May we grow and learn from your examples.

May the Mages and Spirits be with you on life's journey of making new and better friends. Amen!