Diary of the Drunk Elf

Moderator: Community Team

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Sat Mar 25, 2017 3:34 pm

Dear diary,
Yesterday as always I entered the tavern to get some socialisation. Yes you and me both know that I go there only for this reason and none other. This time I was lucky nice dark human female was new in town and instead of beating or making fun invited me to drink with her. I tried to maintain conversation by pretending to be human as well, but when she asked my age I made mistake by saying 15. Well I know humans live short lives, but how short... Well she was not too convinced.. So I tried my best pick up line about wanting to know what she will have for breakfast shockingly it did not worked. I need to work on my skills... Next time I will come up with something more witty. Maybe if I would say I am 50 or 100 year old it would have worked.. That my sear diary we shall never know... Well I am of to Tavern again for some socialization. Wish me luck my most beloved friend.

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:01 am

Dear diary,
Vomiting this morning was harder then on other days. With usual mess came much blood and some other strange puss. Also normal pain in my head this time was matched and even surpassed by one in my lungs and stomach. I tried to remember if I was in some fight yesterday evening sadly could not recall much. Given that reflection of my face looked no more swollen then usual morning I made the conclusion that I am probably sick... When I return to my shack horrible discovery struck me. My aloe supply was gone, so as herbs needed to make healing tea... I swore saltily (I try to use human swear words now so as not soil my native tongue) but this time I went with elvish curse about flower bloom who fails to show his face to the sun. Holding my from further indecencies I added several human ones about intimate relationships with some ones mother... Still cursing wont solve my predicament... Slowly and with grand difficulty I went to temple to beg for healing... I knew that priest will again want to lie hands and me and do other things... But what is it poor sick elf to do... And so I went anyway...

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Sun Apr 09, 2017 9:35 am

Dear diary,
Today was a good day not only priest after only few days waiting agree to lie his hand on me (I felt really special from his gentle touch). But also I felt the might of of the warrior coming on to me as I leveled up to grand heights. Sure you being a skeptical book might argue that it was just some herb that priest given me before the ritual, but I dont believe so it was true strength of pure level up. A feeling that is like a pain and a pleasure combine. I might not remember exactly what happened, but I know I will celebrate it with cheep vodka and a good humor appropriate for the occasion.

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Mon Jun 26, 2017 2:38 am

Dear diary,
Do you know that feeling before you open eyes in the morning. Feeling without great headache, only sunshine gently tickling you nose. Pity it lasts only for a moment.... As eyes opens, titanic thirst and pain ringing pain kicks in... And I, your poor fried is forced to get up and get his bearings. This morning I had a pleasure to sleep on nice and cozy park bench. City guardians must be getting sloppy this summer. Usually they just kick me out to some ditch, yet not this time. I drank deep from the well returning with my thoughts to the evening past. Slowly with the growing dizziness I tried to separate facts from fiction. I was a herring ? No it was just a song... Fought of herring forced me to vomit vigorously. Quietly hoping that nobody will see me doing that into a public well.
A queen? Yes that was she. Why do you lough at me you stupid book? I say Queen her self enjoyed me singing this mean it was so. She must like me! And that girl.... So tiny and cute... I almost fellt like a big and strong high elf from the stories... Why why are you smiling this way dear diary? You believe me not? Fine be this way....


And by the melody of his ringing head he started to write a song about the Queen always with the warm smile, brave sleepy princess with a bag full of cookies , ugly loathing book and a little Elf that could,,,,

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Thu Jun 29, 2017 1:29 am

Dear diary,

Yesterday She again asked me to sing... I don't know why, but she did... Maybe to make fun of me... Maybe she was just bored and maybe I just dream it all up... I dream and I sing... And I sang about a dice rolling further and further and a bottle running after her. About capricious nature of the lady dice, always rolling the way she wants, and a steady love of the bottle always getting filled only to remain empty in the end. About seduction attempts by slutty books but none could make marriage of dice and bottle brake. As she roll he felt full and when dice stooped empty again. And thus they remain best of a couple even in anger and defeat consoling each other and making a lives bearable.

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Thu Sep 21, 2017 5:45 am

Drakonkrabas woke with dry throat and ringing head. Um... "The feeling of the morning". It took him few second that he fell asleep on something far more tender then ground or park bench. Elf open his eyes to see there was a roof under his head, Strange... But he knew better then try to remember what he did yesterday. It would bring a lot of pain and very few results as always. Instead he looked around and realized he was in the large bed.. Drakonkrabas was terrified by this turn of events. Probably yesterday he broken in some rich man house and thus soon will be beaten and thorn out. Even worse steps was heard behind doors somebody was coming. Poor thing tried to hide under the bead but sheets tangles him and he only managed to drop under the floor when man dressed in servants livery entered caring large glass of water with lemons.
"My Lord Mayor I hope you sleeped well"

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Sat Jan 05, 2019 1:28 pm

Dear diary,
I am so sorry for letting you to collect dusts so very long time. I see you did a very good job at that. I am also sorry for the few pages I had to steal from you. But once necessity strikes it strikes.
Anyways... I have to tell you a story about what has happened to me recently. It started quite incently with the letter a Major of the city wrote to me offering me to be a friend. And... Thus I accepted moreover I invited the Her in. Yes it was her... We talked and we played whole evening until... She left... Long and hard I thought why... Yes, yes you cruel cruel book know quite a lot reason why any member of an opposite sex would get away for me, but I promise you it was not like that. The reason had to be something special and I will figure it out. And believe it or not I already know how.

(OOC viewtopic.php?f=34&t=12710 )
Last edited by Drakonkrabas on Tue Aug 25, 2020 4:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:00 am

Dear dairy,
Do you smell it ? Of courses not you have no nose.. Ok I will tell you what is it. It is a rose and this this is another one. You never guess who have given them to me. It was She. Yes Yes it was She. I will place one here in you to remind how wrong you were to doubt me.

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Mon Jul 27, 2020 7:00 am

Dear diary,
Today I woke up with a strange feeling. No not strange, more like a certain feeling. In a same time I felt as if I had finally leveled up, but at the same time I felt that this was it. End of the road... and the thing that I am now will remain forever it will never be better... I know what you, good diary as you are, want to say: " Dont cry Drakonkrabas this is the best possible world and you are the best thing you can be in it, you must learn to accept it" . And as always you are right. But now... Now I am having some trouble reading it... It is just something in my eye nothing else.

User avatar
Drakonkrabas
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Diary of the Drunk Elf

Post by Drakonkrabas » Sat Aug 01, 2020 9:33 am

Dear diary,
Do you know what it means to forget somebody? Like if I would write something in you and then scrap it off. Would it be just like nothing was written ? It would not... Scrach marks would always be there and paper would grow thin. Would I want to write on that place again knowing that you might be torn if I would need to scrap the writing again?
Stop looking like that! You know I would not do that to my beloved book I was writing "meteorically" or what was that word where you talk about thing but mean something else? Yes, yes you are The diary and not a dictionary... Sorry I am just confusing you... It must be that strange orange drink that I was given today in a tavern. I forgotten? remembered? I remembered that I had forgotten? From that damned drink instead of wanting to sing or to sleep like from vodka now I just want...
Ech... No teleportation for this evening. Come under my pillow dear diary, tonight we shall sleep at home.

Post Reply