[ORP] Army of the Two Packs...of...DOOOOOM

[Idra]

Idra left the tavern, The Mysts, rapping her fists on her armor in time with the battle hymn, "Hark the Loathsome Lucky 13 Falls," Miss Malan's sweet words and voice still echoing through her head as she tromped through the town.

It would be a glorious day. Dwayberry had introduced the Orc to a new fashion in determining one's strength. The girth of the two-packs. A simple test of them quickly sprang forth an idea in the Orc's mind. The creation of an army. An army of the two-packs. An army to take down the mages for attempting to poison her and the human Aingeal with copious amounts of the green, poisonous leaf bayzeel, and false muscles that sprang forth on the pinky.

Yes, the army of the two-packs. She would gather the two-packs and storm the mage's tower. Take them down for trying to kill her. For plaguing the lands with blizzards and sinking boats. They would pay. Oh the mages would pay, and the two-packs would be the mages downfall.

Idra paused at the town board and puts up a sign-up sheet for the army:

	[center]ATTENTION![/center] Be you the bearer of girthy two-packs? Then join the army of the Two-Packs...of...DOOOOOM! We will storm the mage's tower and take them down for enticing us with their Lucky 13 game of lies and death! For attempting to poison us with their green, leafy bayzeel; for giving us false muscles in our pinkies; for plaguing us with leaky boats and blizzards! Sign up below to exact your revenge on the mages! To right the wrongs they have diseased these lands with! Females Idra Dwayberry Aingeal Mielle Miss Malan Males (who will not be used at pack mules...)

...see the sun glint and tremble though ye be a mage... she sang, horribly off key, repeating the lyrics Miss Malan had fashioned.

Yes, today was going to be a glorious day.

[balerion]

Balerion knew from personal experience how the journey to Akram at the heart of Surxia was a difficult place to reach. Who could know that land better than he? With relish he signed his name.

Death to the mages! All Praise the Pillow!

[Miss_Malan]

Malan inspected her two packs. Yes, they would do. Enough of playing innocent melodies in the tavern and working in her garden. Time for an adventure.

She saluted smartly and marched forward chanting a battle hymn:

Hark the loathsome lucky 13 falls
Hear the Orc warrior as she calls
Steal our treasure, taste our steel
Now we raise our swords in rage
See the sun glint and tremble though ye be a mage.

[Logo]

Logo heard the cries of vengeance against the gods.
As would any son of Útgarðar he shouted, "r'Agnarök!" trying his best to imitate the High Jǫtnar accent of his tutors.

As he set about making preparations for the coming twilight, three impediments occurred to the troll.
- First, he wasn't at all sure the lineage of the Mages included the thieving Æsir or the sneaky faerie hordes.
- Second, the only 'Bay Seals' in Logo's experience were not green but gray, and definitely not poisonous. He actually found them quite delicious if properly prepared.
- Third, the troll had no idea where his 'Tupac' might be, or more importantly how to determine if was sufficiently girthy.

With some trepidation, the troll set out toward Cork and the one place he might find answers -- his Meastro's grand library in the long-abandoned tower of Adonair.

[balerion]

Balerion gets tired of waiting for others to show. It is time. Delay will not further our cause. We must proceed if we wish to obtain our goals!

[Idra]

Hearing the dragon, Idra nodded. We are among the strongest in the lands dragon, we need no others! Idra grabbed her steward by collar and dragged her off toward her hut. It was time to prepare.

[Logo]

Like most rooms in the tower, the library was larger on the inside than the outside. Unlike the others, the hall of books was immense and packed nearly to capacity.

Logo spent days among the maze of shelves, pouring over folios, scrolls, tablets and curious rainbow-reflecting discs. (And extra rations. Idra had assured him his Tupac met the army's girth requirements but he didn't want shrinkage -- at least until he knew what, and where, his Tupac was.) Sadly, few of the writings made more than passing references to the topics Logo sought, and the shiny discs were useless.

The troll remembered names of those disc authors, so he could avoid their other works. They were few, but prolific. Tended to use their initials. Logo guessed they were too embarrassed to use full names. He remember, "C. D." and a "D. V. D." (probably a doctor that one, the troll thought.) and one named, "Ray," some blue creature who desperately needed a spelling assistant.

Having done as much as he could, Logo gave the library a final glance and headed out of the tower. On the way toward the Tupac Army staging ground, he recounted his discoveries, or what guesses he had pieced together.

Bay seals were originally greyish-brown, but there was a story of goblin meat makers who made balls with feet and pig skins near a bay. (Logo just knew fairies would be involved somehow.) Apparently, the seals ate so many cans of tainted goblin-feet&pigskin pate, they acquired its characteristic color and immunity to its caustic effects. They became carriers of poison. It was a truly heinous fairy plot Logo had uncovered, but the exact nature of the Mage's relationship to those Green Bay Packers remained a mystery.

The troll arrived at the at the army camp, with a cheerful, "Lieutenantroll, logo reportating for ... ... hellooooo?...
where iz everywho?"

[Logo]

// oops. Please delete this unintended dp//

[balerion]

Balerion ate what delightful morsels he found when he found them so he had no cause to "get ready." Seeing the troll march into camp but not see him he thought he might have some fun while still unseen. Whispering he called a few faery friends to him. His sister had given him a special affinity with the creatures and seeing as how they enjoyed tormenting the troll so he decided to put them to good use. If you make the Logo's life uncomfortable I will give you a nice bowl of cream and honey as a reward my little friends. They fluttered off and Balerion couldn't wait to see the reaction he would get from such.