[CRP] Have a little hope.

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Aishe
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[CRP] Have a little hope.

Post by Aishe »

OOC: With our return to Bravia, we are happy to bring back our alphabet RPs! This is our HRP. Find the links to the others on my character sheet here.

Fury washed over her. The glass in her hand was thrown, shattering against the wall. All she could think was “I’m going to kill him. Them.” How could this be it? The end of a love written in the stars. And for what? What had she given her heart for? Three years of bliss and happiness, thrown away because of her. How dare he. King or not, she was holding him accountable for his actions. All she saw was blinding red. She was going to kill them. How could she live in a world were they were happy and she had her heart ripped from her chest? So suddenly, so completely… She screamed in agony, wailing over the loss of a man she swore to love till the day he died. Today could be that day. What was a little regicide when you live forever?

Aishe snapped out of the memory when she heard Akos sigh. She looked up from the book she was meant to be reading to her wife. Her beautiful wife. The love of her existence. This was love. This was true love. Safe love. Everything she could want. There, sat in the study of their Bravian home, they spent quiet time together as they each studied. The light streamed through the window behind Akos, creating a halo effect. Her stark black hair and grey eyes beckoned her, but she kept to her chair across from her.

“You’re bored.” Aishe said after studying her face for a few silent moments. “Let’s take a break! What do you want to do?”

She slammed her book closed and tossed it on the table before getting up. Grinning, she snatched the book Akos was reading and tossed it too. With Akos’s lap now free, she took the liberty of occupying it. She pressed a few kisses all over her wife’s face, filled with love and gratitude.

“I have a few ideas.” She giggled and jumped back to her feet. She pulled Akos up. Leading the way, they abandoned their studies and found their bed.

———————

Laying together, Aishe traced her fingers over the tattoo on her wife’s chest. She did not want to get up yet. The house was noisy to her ears, filled with people and children as one would expect of the hub for the BDR. The privacy they had in that moment was something she cherished and felt rare these days. So she nuzzled into Akos’s neck and sighed happily.

“I love you.”
Aishe Ehsan Sanchari-Kuhlash | Married to Akos | Mother of 14 | Grandmother of 7
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♛ Queen Mother of Fenia | The White Wolf | LXXV Vicerine of Bravia 🍓
Kralisi Kaer of Boreens Durri Roma (BDR) ☾ Rani Ji Purrana
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Akos
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Re: [CRP] Have a little hope.

Post by Akos »

It hadn't been quite as tumultuous as Akos had expected when Aishe finally returned from her time in the Nether. The fire of rage had left her wife's eyes, but in it's place had been left something that Akos couldn't quite put a name to. Hollow seemed inaccurate, though when she looked close enough she could certainly see signs of such. Sadness, of course, and perhaps finally acceptance but - knowing Aishe the way she did, Akos knew there was something still out of place within her wife's heart.

Knowing this, she had done her best to bring back a spark to the eyes she adored so much. With more time came more healing and finally, at times, Akos saw moments when joy sparkled in her wife's eyes. Time spent together playing with their children brought with it sparks of Aishe's playfulness. Quiet moments together, her thoughtfulness.

It was these quiet moments that Akos appreciated the most at the moment. Ones where the two of the could just reconnect. Learn about what had happened with each of them while the other was absent. Sometimes, just to be in each others presence.

It's what they were doing in the library that day. Avoiding other people and being together. Sure they both had responsibilities to their renewed studies, but it didn't mean they couldn't be together while being responsible. They were capable of doing that all of the time these days. Very mature, very responsible. Maybe a little boring. At least it was until Aishe had decided to drag her away to their room. Far less boring.

-----------------------------------------------------------

She allowed herself to bask in the feeling of having her beloved wrapped around her; something she would never tire of as long as they both lived. Or die and then lived again as they were prone to do. She was getting ready to lose herself in thoughts of their magics and the privileges that came with, when Aishe interrupted and brought her back to the very real, tactile present. Akos plucked her wife's hand from her chest, bringing fingers to her lips to kiss softly one by one I love you too she breathed out between kisses before turning the hand over to press a long kiss to the palm. She'd said it before, but it was still true, a feeling that lingered in her soul and not yet entirely soothed, thus she spoke it once again with a wistful sigh, I still miss you.
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Aishe
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Re: [CRP] Have a little hope.

Post by Aishe »

The last three words hit a bit hard. She understood. She fully well knew the damage her fleeing reality did. Her actions had been purely selfish. She was an emotional person, which only strengthened when she was killed at seventeen. Her rage was in poor hands when it reared its head - powerful hands. She simply had not known how to cope in a world Zuan and Ella lived in. She fled.

Cowardly, perhaps. Selfish, absolutely. Necessary? She thought so.

Even looking back, she was glad to have kept her family away from the monster she was. Fury fueled the blood lust. A monster she truly turned into, but thankfully she was in the land of monsters. The Nether was a safe place for her to let her emotions out; the decision was one of the last clear decisions she made before her humanity was snuffed out like a flame in a storm.

She wouldn’t apologize for taking care of herself or protecting those she loved, but she had apologized for abandoning her partner. For that, she could never make it up to Akos. She would forever be grateful for the space and patience Akos was able to give her.

Yet, time had gotten away from her. While it was a meager three months for Akos, it had been three years for Aishe. A year in the Nether for every year of marriage to a lying, backstabbing man. Admittedly, while she missed Akos, at the time the pain of separation was minimal - dimmed by lack of humanity. The pain did come eventually as she regained control and it returned tenfold.

Aishe came home when she was ready, to find that her spouse had handled moving the entire Natsia wonderfully. She couldn’t be prouder of the woman she got to wake up to every day. The strides Akos had taken in her absence proved she was every bit capable and rightfully the Kralisi’s wife. Their people were safe and thriving. Their family was happy. It was just time to find their new normal, which had yet to really happen. Shared custody was a dark cloud looming over her head; a reminder of the pain and that she’ll never be able to escape him. Not truly.

The vampire laced her fingers with her wife’s, mirroring her sigh. “Maybe we should take a vacation. Or.. I’m unsure, to be honest. With the Zoralo Natsia here, I suppose we cannot leave for extended period of time. Or should not, at the very least.

We just have to find our next adventure. Together.”
Aishe Ehsan Sanchari-Kuhlash | Married to Akos | Mother of 14 | Grandmother of 7
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♛ Queen Mother of Fenia | The White Wolf | LXXV Vicerine of Bravia 🍓
Kralisi Kaer of Boreens Durri Roma (BDR) ☾ Rani Ji Purrana
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Akos
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Re: [CRP] Have a little hope.

Post by Akos »

Akos rolled and draped her free arm over her wife's stomach, pushing her further into their bed, You're not calling us boring are you? she teased and bit gently into the pale flesh of Aishe's exposed shoulder. I'd hardly call a million children and seven grandkids boring! Akos pondered the reality of their lives in that moment. Caring for children, experiencing yet more joy with the growing numbers of yet another generation - she had a moment of intense pride that they were creating such a fine, numbered and prosperous lineage - and the guidance of an ever growing Natsia and it's offshoots. It couldn't really be called boring could it? With so much going on? Memories flashed to their younger years, the chaos, the mayhem, the intensity of their union...Mages help her. They were boring. Busy. Really busy. But boring.

Was she bored though? Certainly not in this moment with her wife laid bare beneath her, but in general? She didn't think so. Or maybe, maybe she was just to busy to realise she was bored. She wasn't always bored though. She adored the time with her children and her children's children. She could absolutely leave behind some of the rigidity and repetitiveness of governance and leadership. Hmm. She supposed it had been some time since she last maimed someone. No, Akos concluded, not bored, not entirely. But not entirely content either. So much of their lives she cherished, and of course, no life follows a perfect course so being bored, being restless, that just came as part of the package of life. Sadness, joy, anger, all a part of living. No, definitely not bored. But also, not not bored.

I could go for some adventure, she began, lifting up to meet her wife's eyes, Got anything in mind?
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Aishe
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Re: [CRP] Have a little hope.

Post by Aishe »

Aishe laughed and shook her head against the pillows. “Hardly boring, ves’tacha. We lead exciting, or at least interesting, lives. It just feels like it’s been a while since we focused on us.”

She wiggled closer, playfully nibbling her arm in return. She joked about how delicious she tasted, which was actually true. Aishe lived almost exclusively off Akos’s blood. In this instance though, no blood was involved. When the question of adventure was asked, her lips split into a grin. “I have one idea.”

She reached forward and caressed her wife’s cheek, leading her to her lips. It was a kiss of passion. A kiss of a thousand years. Every ounce of love was put into such a simple gesture as she pulled Akos closer, refusing to break the kiss. Akos didn’t pull away, but leaned into her and their passion lead to more moments of marital bliss.

As Aishe laid there, panting and content, she rolled onto Akos. She pressed her head against her chest, taking a more intimate listen to her racing heart. She could stay like this forever, if it were possible… And forever they had. For a while, the comfortable quiet continued. Her mind wandered while her fingers trailed against bare flesh.

A life full of family was the best life she could hope for. It wasn’t something they had much of in the past; they usually reincarnated as women and often it was simply not possible to have children of their own. This time was different. They had fourteen children from two different means - natural and magical. She remembered how much joy there was when the soul of Aileigh took to her womb. Bringing a new soul into the world was pure. Creating a new part of them was wholesome. So wholesome that they did it all again a few years later.

Aishe looked up, propping her chin on Akos’s chest as she did so. Nestled there in their corner of peace, she felt as though no harm could ever come to them. She knew this was far from true though. Their lives were dangerous - it always had been that way and she expected it to always be. In this life, in the next, and the one after that. But while they were safe, they should make the most of it.

“I have a wild idea.” She broke the silence while searching Akos’s face. It was wild indeed. Perhaps impossible. A rush of nerves moved through her as she fiddled with the pillow behind her wife’s head. “I want to have a baby - your baby. You and me and our pure love.

And now, before you argue… I know the circumstances. I know I cannot conceive naturally anymore. But whose to say I can’t carry? I’m not a scientist; I don’t know what exactly is wrong with my womb. But we tried and tried again to conceive naturally and I was okay. Heartbroken, but okay.

Why can’t we try with your magic?

Maybe it won’t work. I’m not a fool - I know I may be broken beyond repair.”
She paused with a sharp breath. “I want to have your baby. I’m a mother and I just… It was taken from me without a warning. Let me find some peace and finality of the situation. I.. I want to try. I can handle the outcome.

Will you have a baby with me?”
Aishe Ehsan Sanchari-Kuhlash | Married to Akos | Mother of 14 | Grandmother of 7
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♛ Queen Mother of Fenia | The White Wolf | LXXV Vicerine of Bravia 🍓
Kralisi Kaer of Boreens Durri Roma (BDR) ☾ Rani Ji Purrana
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Akos
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Re: [CRP] Have a little hope.

Post by Akos »

As she was happily secured beneath the weight of her wife, Akos decided then and there that she liked Aishe's ideas. Especially if they were all like that one. Akos wrapped her legs around her wife's thighs and just closed her eyes to appreciate the warmth of their bodies as they snuggled. She swore silently to herself that she'd say yes to more of these adventure ideas. Maybe she'd say yes to all of them. That could be interesting. Akos hummed a quiet ascent to herself, thinking that she might just give that a try.

She peeled her eyes open to meet those of her wife's at the mention of another idea. She'd not even had time to ponder the devilish possibilities that such a thing may contain before complete shock broke her haze.

Wha... she began to exclaim, when it was interrupted by Aishe hurriedly explaining herself. Another baby? What?! Akos did her best to absorb what her wife was saying to her, her reasonings, her sincere desires; but it washed over her without truly sticking. She pushed up onto her elbows to gaze at Aishe, consternation deeply etched upon her brow, Mages Aishe! She almost spluttered, What?! Why? Logically she knew her wife had just explained the why, but Akos just couldn't fathom it in the moment. Her mouth hung open as she searched the eyes in front of her. Aishe was serious. And hopeful. Mages help her, how was she supposed to say no to that look? This was not the idea she was expecting, nor one she'd say yes to. How could she?

Arms going limp beneath her, Akos sank into the mattress and threw her head back to look at the ceiling, For Mages sake Aishe! It was not frustration but despair that laced her next softly spoken words, Why would I...I couldn't...I refuse to risk losing you again.
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Aishe
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Re: [CRP] Have a little hope.

Post by Aishe »

Akos’s heart began to race, but Aishe resisted the attempt to move. Instead, she stayed put, caressing her with her gaze as she watched her mind work. It was a big ask. She knew that. Perhaps she was crazy. Yet, she felt a piece of them was missing and now that she spoke the idea aloud, it stuck to her heart like glue. Exhaling softly, she gave Akos a long moment before reaching up and cupping her face.

“I love you. To the moons and back. I will always love you. I love what we have - our lives, our family. Our love may be eternal, but this life is not. What if we don’t get to have a family next life? Or the one after that or after that one?”

She looked up through her lashes, trying to convey how much this meant to her. It wasn’t a whim, it was just something that prior to this moment, she had not indulged thought to. She hadn’t dared to. Yet, it was now crystal clear to her that if there was a time, it was now.

“I know I’m still healing. Parts of my heart are wounded and open and.. Maybe it’s selfish. But I want to fill that part of my heart with more. With hope and love.”
Aishe Ehsan Sanchari-Kuhlash | Married to Akos | Mother of 14 | Grandmother of 7
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♛ Queen Mother of Fenia | The White Wolf | LXXV Vicerine of Bravia 🍓
Kralisi Kaer of Boreens Durri Roma (BDR) ☾ Rani Ji Purrana
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Akos
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Re: [CRP] Have a little hope.

Post by Akos »

Akos pressed her cheek into the cool flesh that cupped it and listened to her wife. She'd learned well over the years that sometimes you had to listen to more than the words that were spoken, but to what lay hidden in their depths. With all they had been through in this life, especially recently, Akos knew this was one of those moments. So, she listened.

Listened to the sincerity and hope from her wife. Knew it to be her truest desire. But was it her own?

Aishe was right in that they could rarely have families of their own, and it had been the most wonderous delight that it was something changeable in this life. To have something of each other, bound together in the form of children was a blessing she'd never thought to hope for, and yet they existed. Their deepest selves joined and made flesh, thrice over. Surely it was selfish to expect they'd be able to do it again. Too risky for them to try. Then again, was it not selfish of Akos to refuse to risk Aishe's life when it was a risk Aishe herself was willing to take?

Eyes met as she let out a shaky exhale. My wife. My Everything. I cannot tell you no. But... her voice quivered softly, I do not know how I can tell you yes.
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Aishe
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Re: [CRP] Have a little hope.

Post by Aishe »

Aishe understood Akos’s hesitation. Pregnancy had proven to be dangerous for her. Her body was undead - permanently frozen at seventeen. The growth and support of new life was taxing. As pregnancy went on, she had grown weaker and frail, more human. She had even died from birth complications with their daughter Amelia. She had further complications with the birth of her last children, Ambrose and Aileanóra, that resulted in cutting her open to deliver the twins. It damaged her womb and left her incapable since to have a successful pregnancy, even though they had tried. Maybe it was why Zuan stopped loving her - she served her job and she was now useless.

The dark thought had crossed her mind before. She felt insignificant. She gave him four healthy, beautiful children. Was it a coincidence he lost interest after the doctors confirmed she couldn’t have more children? Was that what Ella offered that she couldn’t? Is that when the lines drawn in the sand were blown away into nothingness? Is that when she stopped mattering? When a mistress became more important than a wife?

Perhaps that was why she wanted a child so badly. A desperate reach for happiness in the darkness that had consumed her. Akos and her were destined for each other; their love was eternal. But Zuan? He was the love of her life - this life. To be thrown aside over something that hurt already was just a twist of the dagger in her heart.

She laid in silence, giving Akos some time to think. Or perhaps it was to give herself a moment to think. They were both stubborn, but more importantly, they both strived to make each other happy. All she had to do was help Akos see the happiness a child of theirs would give. Bright eyes refocused on the dark haired beauty, expression softening a bit with a gleam in her eyes.

“I wish I knew how to explain it properly.” She said in earnest. “I do know that a part of me is missing… Which is ironic considering making a baby would quite literally take a part of my soul away.

But… It wouldn’t be gone. It would go into something so joyous and pure. It would create life. It just feels right. One last hoorah. A new beginning. You know? I want to cement our love all over again.

His blood changed both of us. I was on it for so long; I think my body can handle it. That’s assuming the soul takes to my womb, of course. I wouldn’t ask you to carry, especially since I want to. I want to feel… Alive again. Start this new chapter in our lives with something positive to pull me from the darkness.”
Aishe Ehsan Sanchari-Kuhlash | Married to Akos | Mother of 14 | Grandmother of 7
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♛ Queen Mother of Fenia | The White Wolf | LXXV Vicerine of Bravia 🍓
Kralisi Kaer of Boreens Durri Roma (BDR) ☾ Rani Ji Purrana
[Art | World Historian ]
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