[CRP] The Right Answer

[Thea]

Love. Neither Thea nor Aileigh had used that word in the context of their romantic relationship. She felt a bit queasy at the word. Even if she knew it to be true, saying it aloud was a whole different matter. She was sure the nervousness was evident to her cousin.

"You make it sound simple and easy but it is not. Seven children is a big jump from four and we both know that. There is no way to know what will happen, therefore, there is no way to know the right answer."

Thea sighed again and raked her fingers through her hair.

"This is all very unlike me. Well, not the fact that I have gotten myself into a mess, but the part where I actually care about the outcome."

[Cordelia]

Cordelia could see the nerves surface when she used the term love. She was a bit of a romantic herself, which is why the word came to mind. It didn’t occur to her that the word itself may still be foreign to the new relationship, which was fair. She fell in love hard and fast, once they got past the awkwardness of an arranged marriage. Her own experience was projecting itself onto her cousin’s marriage.

“That’s life though, is it not? Uncertainty. Never knowing the right answer, if there is even one to be had. I am here to help you find your answer, but ultimately, it is yours to find.

And it almost sounds like you have the answer.

It’s nice to see you taking the time to think and care about the choice you are making because it is a big choice to make. It’s barely begun,” The pregnancy, that was. “So you have time to decide. If you are truly stuck, then do not rush to an answer. A rushed answer is never helpful.

I am biased and I am sure you can understand my bias. However, I am trying to see the situation through your eyes and I hear your concerns. They are reasonable concerns to have. I wish I had an easy answer for you.”

[Thea]

Maybe she had her answer, but everything still felt so up in the air.

"I am on a time crunch though. I might have some time, yes, but not an indefinite amount of time. Eventually no decision becomes a decision on its own."

Thea then frowned at Cora's words. She felt incredibly insensitive to have brought this up with her cousin, but she did not know who else to go to. Fate must be cruel to not give Cordelia another child while both Thea and Aileigh have had several accidental pregnancies.

"I am sorry for putting you in an awkward place. I know it has been hard for you. I do not mean to throw your own troubles in your face like this."

[Cordelia]

“No decision will become the decision, you’re right. However, you still have what, a few weeks until it becomes too complicated? I admit I only know a little on the topic, never having done it myself.”

She paused before offering a small smile.

“I appreciate it. It’s okay. Aileigh gave me hope and I’m holding onto it. Perhaps it’s best for us to have more time between Winter and the next, given Winnie’s… Skills.”

It was challenging and at times, brought distraught. They got pregnant so easily initially; she thought it’d be no problem to get pregnant again. Winter was only seventeen months old; some would argue that it was still too soon to want another child. Cordelia was not one of those people though. She loved being a mom more than she thought she would, even with the challenges her little airbender brought.

“I am always here for you to talk to. Always. Thank you for trusting me with such a situation. I can imagine your frustration and see your plight.”

Cora paused once more, grey eyes searching her cousin’s face.

“You should do it. If you’re this uncertain, maybe that’s the best route. Terminate the pregnancy.”

The words were soft. They were said mostly to see what sort of reaction they evoked. Having the “decision” said so bluntly could help Thea figure out her gut reaction. She wasn’t sure if it would work, but one way or another the decision had to be made.

[Thea]

The response was not what Thea had been expecting. Actually, she really did not know what she had been expecting. Cordelia valued children but she also was the one who had offered Thea an out the first time. She frowned slightly before responding.

"I guess if I am unsure it would be fairer to everyone to terminate."

Thea nodded her head slowly as the decision seemed to be the only option in her mind now.

"You would not happen to know a midwife who has knowledge of this sort of thing?"

[Cordelia]

Cordelia noted the slight frown, but there seemed to be a resolve. She gave a small nod, feeling sympathy for her cousin for having to make such a choice. She wasn’t sure there was a right answer though. At least a decision had been made; it would be would it would be.

“I do not, however I’m sure my steward can help us locate one. I’ll talk to her and we will find someone to help. Only the best will do; I know it can be dangerous if they are not experienced enough. You can stay here to recover however long you need.”

She paused.

“Do you want to write Aileigh, to let her know of your decision?”

[Thea]

Thea's face was passive. She did not want Cordelia to see she was worried. Dangerous. This would be dangerous, especially if the practitioner was not knowledgeable. That was exactly why she had refused this option in her first pregnancy. Supposedly it was safer so early during the gestation, but there was no certainty.

When her cousin asked if she wanted to write to Aileigh she hastily shook her head.

"No, it is better for her to not know until after it is done and final."

[Cordelia]

Cordelia nodded to her cousin’s decision on not writing Aileigh, although she slightly disagreed with it - just on the off chance something went wrong.

The women spoke for a little longer before the viscountess showed her guest to the familiar guest room, as it was not too long ago that Thea and her household had come to visit. Letting Thea settle in, she went to find her steward. She informed her of the need for a knowledgeable midwife or doctor and after some discussing, the steward went off to locate such a creature.

Two days passed before the midwife arrived at the fortress. Prior to her arrival, she sent a list of things she would need gathered and instructions for a room. All of it had been arranged and was ready to go by the time she showed up. After short introductions, Cordelia left the pair alone, knowing Thea would rather just get it over with than drag on pleasantries. Anxious, she went to spent time in the nursery with her busy-body infant.

[Thea]

With the decision now made, the two cousins chattered on for a short while longer before Cordelia showed Thea to the guest room. Thea did not remember any of what had been discussed after she had decided to rid her body of the pregnancy. It felt like she was looking down on herself and all she could hear of the conversation was a soft hum and buzz of indistinguishable words.

It took a few days for everything to be sorted and for the practiced midwife to arrive at the keep. Cordelia left Thea alone in a room where she waited in silence. The room was silent and so were her thoughts. Thea jumped as she heard the sudden click of the door latch. The sound brought her back to the present moment. The midwife was a woman in her mid to late forties with dark hair streaked with silver and an impassive expression. The elder woman greeted her softly and then requested to examine her. Thea of course complied. It was not like she had many other options in this particular situation. After a thorough examination, the midwife decided that an herbal concoction would suffice to end the pregnancy. For this Thea was glad. It would be quick, and simple.

The midwife went about grinding the carefully selected ingredients into a mortar and pestle while Thea watched in silence. After she had ground it to a fine powder, the midwife tipped the contents into a glass of warm water.

"Drink this and then lay down to rest. I do not recommend traveling for at least a week. You will likely experience cramping, nausea and vomiting, fatigue, and bleeding."

Thea nodded her head in acknowledgment of the instructions and thanked the woman for her expertise. The midwife bowed her head respectfully and then departed from the room.

[Aileigh]

About a week had passed since her wife had left on horseback. In that time, she had only gotten a short letter informing her Thea made it to Clogwyn Keep and would be staying for an undetermined amount of time. Aileigh kept herself busy with the children and her viscountess duties, but after eight days of no letters, she grew too restless. Perhaps she was being impatient, for the dilemma on hand was a serious one that required much thought, but perhaps it was the seriousness that had her pack a bag the morning of the ninth day.

She made the trip on horseback, making a much swifter journey than if she had taken a carriage. Andrzej accompanied her for safety purposes, with the children staying at the estate in the expert care of the nannies. They made good time, despite the stops at noon and night per cultural practices, and soon the cliff side keep was in view. They rode through the gates and were greeted by servants who tended to their horses and belongings. Aileigh paid no mind, entering the ancient keep with a mild worry rising in her chest. Perhaps she was overreacting, riding all the way to the Highlands, but she felt her wife needed her - or perhaps it was that she needed her wife. Their budding romance definitely impacted her decision to come, but ultimately they were each other’s biggest support system above all else. She already felt helpless in the situation - being far away from the problem and whatever solution was to come did not help the feeling.

Cordelia met her in the entry hall with a warm smile, receiving news of her arrival minutes before they were at the gate from the high vantage point of the keep.

“I’m sorry I didn’t write ahead. It was a bit of an impulsive decision to come.” Aileigh’s apology was accompanied with a hug and a smile of her own. The lack of Thea’s immediate presence to her arrival was noticed, but mayhaps her wife just had not been informed yet or was otherwise occupied. She did not get hung up on the detail as the pair of women retreated further into the keep.

“It’s quite alright. Can I get you any refreshments?”

“Some mint tea would be nice.” She responded as to not be rude. She was much more interested in seeing Thea than tea, but maybe her wife was already waiting for her in the living room or would be quick to join them.