(CRP) Episodes of Misadventure
Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 7:53 pm
Only the grace granted him by his elvish heritage allowed Sebastian to duck out of the way of the heavy clay mug that flew through the air as soon as the words left his lips. It hit the wall inches from his head and exploding sending a shower of shards and the cheep, watered down brew it had been used to contain all over the wall and down over his own head and shoulders. His feet moved forward at the same time he’d ducked carrying him towards the front door of the small country inn he’d bought a room in the night before trying to limit as best he could the amount of time he spent as a good target. Red faced, the innkeeper advanced again holding a broom as though it were a boar spear that he intended to skewer him with. He might well try it in truth.
Of course that might have just a little to do with what had been going on when he’d found Sebastian in that morning. To be fair he considered himself entirely the victim here. But one hardly expected a protective father to see it that way. The man roared in fresh outrage and advanced on the naked elf man once again wildly swinging the broom in his wake always just an inch or two behind the pace that would let him impact with the satisfaction he was after.
Two nights ago Sebastian had entered town and taken a room, intending only to stay a day or two to rest before the next phase of his travels, but with news of an impending local royal wedding in the near future he sensed an opportunity to earn some good coin playing at parties and inns around the capital whose custom would predictably swell with guests drunk on the festive atmosphere: a bard learned to pay attention to such things. Now it had started out innocent enough, the girl who served table for her parents in the Inn, had simply said she wanted to learn to play the flute. To be fair she had quite nimble fingers and might actually have made a fair musician if she took the effort… the momentary distraction proved to be a mistake as it made him a hair slower and the innkeeper finally succeeded in cracking the broom handle across him--- he’d aimed for his back but managed only to catch him across the back of the thighs which upending him and sent him sprawling onto the floor with a whoosh of air.
“I’ve got you now you Elvish trash!” With a roar the man brought the broom up over his head with both hands and swung down towards Sebastian’s head who watched the progress with wide eyes in what seemed like slow motion as it descended. At the last possible moment he threw his weight to the side rolling underneath the table he’d just fallen off of as the wooden broom handle smacked into the floor scant inches behind him with enough force to crack in the center. He reversed his movement towards the end pushing off back towards the inn keeper so that he could snatch at the broken broom and jerked it from the man’s hands tossing it to the side. A brief tussle ensued until finally the handle broke completely leaving them both holding about half of it in a somewhat comical exchange as they stood staring.
That lasted about half a second before the man let out a roar of fresh anger and began lashing out with a fresh flurry of blows which the elf managed to counter with the small broken bit of the broom handle as though it were a proper sword. Each deflected blow only seemed to enrage the innkeeper further as he took each as something that prevented him from the justice he felt he so richly deserved and he ruthlessly pressed his attack on denying all evidence that his portly old man must surely tire out at some point.
Desperate, Sebastian jumped backwards back into the table hoping over one swing, blocking another, kicking a plate of cut up apples into the man’s face and then jumping with a flipping twist over his head and onto the bar. He landed there with a wobbling impact, arms swinging wildly, and displaced several mugs of ale which caused their owners to curse him up one side and down the other---
Oh sure, he though, just sit there and laugh while the elf man is being chased naked through the place but don’t touch my beer!
He ran along the bar oblivious to the curses stepping over jugs, ale mugs, plates of food, and the grasping hands of human patrons who seemed to haven taken a fancy to the idea of an Elf lynching on this fine morning. He would’ve sworn that the place couldn’t possibly have been this large, but the distance between he and the door just kept seeming to get further and further away--- and comically the innkeeper seemed to have produced another broom from.. Somewhere.
“Don’t hurt him!” Came a high pitched voice yelling from the staircase, where stood the man’s daughter…. because… why shouldn’t this just get worse! He jumped off the edge of the bar then in time to see the girl fling him a bundle which proved to be his pack with at least most of his few belongings stuffed inside (all that really mattered were his instruments in truth) and even his boots had been artfully tied to the side of the bag with the string! He blew her a kiss, which resulted in the portly innkeeper (who seemed to have finally tired out) resorting to lurching down the length of the bar picking up all of the objects Sebastian had been so busy dancing threw one at a time and hurling them in the bard’s general direction. Discretion being the better part of valor… Sebastian ducked out the door (naked) and took off for the relative safety of the nearby woods.
And so began Sebastian’s first day in Fenia.
Of course that might have just a little to do with what had been going on when he’d found Sebastian in that morning. To be fair he considered himself entirely the victim here. But one hardly expected a protective father to see it that way. The man roared in fresh outrage and advanced on the naked elf man once again wildly swinging the broom in his wake always just an inch or two behind the pace that would let him impact with the satisfaction he was after.
Two nights ago Sebastian had entered town and taken a room, intending only to stay a day or two to rest before the next phase of his travels, but with news of an impending local royal wedding in the near future he sensed an opportunity to earn some good coin playing at parties and inns around the capital whose custom would predictably swell with guests drunk on the festive atmosphere: a bard learned to pay attention to such things. Now it had started out innocent enough, the girl who served table for her parents in the Inn, had simply said she wanted to learn to play the flute. To be fair she had quite nimble fingers and might actually have made a fair musician if she took the effort… the momentary distraction proved to be a mistake as it made him a hair slower and the innkeeper finally succeeded in cracking the broom handle across him--- he’d aimed for his back but managed only to catch him across the back of the thighs which upending him and sent him sprawling onto the floor with a whoosh of air.
“I’ve got you now you Elvish trash!” With a roar the man brought the broom up over his head with both hands and swung down towards Sebastian’s head who watched the progress with wide eyes in what seemed like slow motion as it descended. At the last possible moment he threw his weight to the side rolling underneath the table he’d just fallen off of as the wooden broom handle smacked into the floor scant inches behind him with enough force to crack in the center. He reversed his movement towards the end pushing off back towards the inn keeper so that he could snatch at the broken broom and jerked it from the man’s hands tossing it to the side. A brief tussle ensued until finally the handle broke completely leaving them both holding about half of it in a somewhat comical exchange as they stood staring.
That lasted about half a second before the man let out a roar of fresh anger and began lashing out with a fresh flurry of blows which the elf managed to counter with the small broken bit of the broom handle as though it were a proper sword. Each deflected blow only seemed to enrage the innkeeper further as he took each as something that prevented him from the justice he felt he so richly deserved and he ruthlessly pressed his attack on denying all evidence that his portly old man must surely tire out at some point.
Desperate, Sebastian jumped backwards back into the table hoping over one swing, blocking another, kicking a plate of cut up apples into the man’s face and then jumping with a flipping twist over his head and onto the bar. He landed there with a wobbling impact, arms swinging wildly, and displaced several mugs of ale which caused their owners to curse him up one side and down the other---
Oh sure, he though, just sit there and laugh while the elf man is being chased naked through the place but don’t touch my beer!
He ran along the bar oblivious to the curses stepping over jugs, ale mugs, plates of food, and the grasping hands of human patrons who seemed to haven taken a fancy to the idea of an Elf lynching on this fine morning. He would’ve sworn that the place couldn’t possibly have been this large, but the distance between he and the door just kept seeming to get further and further away--- and comically the innkeeper seemed to have produced another broom from.. Somewhere.
“Don’t hurt him!” Came a high pitched voice yelling from the staircase, where stood the man’s daughter…. because… why shouldn’t this just get worse! He jumped off the edge of the bar then in time to see the girl fling him a bundle which proved to be his pack with at least most of his few belongings stuffed inside (all that really mattered were his instruments in truth) and even his boots had been artfully tied to the side of the bag with the string! He blew her a kiss, which resulted in the portly innkeeper (who seemed to have finally tired out) resorting to lurching down the length of the bar picking up all of the objects Sebastian had been so busy dancing threw one at a time and hurling them in the bard’s general direction. Discretion being the better part of valor… Sebastian ducked out the door (naked) and took off for the relative safety of the nearby woods.
And so began Sebastian’s first day in Fenia.